Children A warning to you all?

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! For those who

already have children past this age - this is hilarious. For those who have

children at this age - this is not funny. For those who have

children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those who have not yet

had children - let this be a form of birth control!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin , Texas : "Things

I've learned from my Children (honest %26amp; no kidding):"

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house

about 2 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with

roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong

enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman

cape.

It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on

all four walls of a large room.

5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the

ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before

you get a hit.

A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a

ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already

too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a

36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a

4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't

walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like jello

15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials

show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and are very

expensive to remove.

18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not

like ovens.

20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

Children A warning to you all?

lol 25 is right i was actually thinking about doing it before i read the end

Children A warning to you all?

i was just about to mix the two

and i think i still will

thanks for the idea

Children A warning to you all?

lmao, thanks for sharing

Children A warning to you all?

I love this! I've heard it before, but I forgot about it until now. I'm a girl %26amp; I was even thinking of mixing bleach %26amp; brake fluid together...

Children A warning to you all?

OMG! That made me laugh soooo hard! I actually did the ceiling fan/ball thing when I was 10! Except me %26amp; my sisters (4 of us at the time) all threw a ball in the air.

We broke 4 windows that day.

LOL

Dad is still mad 7 years later!!!

Children A warning to you all?

lol wow these are great i would mix the two now but dont have bleach. will have to try tho. thanks these were great.